Select Page

On long backpacking trips sometimes I have thoughts. Some are important and I keep those to myself. Others are silly and I share them here.  Here are 10 of those “thoughts in progress” from my trek through Olympic National Park and the wilderness coast in July of 2016.  Enjoy!

1

Millennials are more likely able to identify 150 Pokemon than a real animal in the wilderness.

2

Don’t try to identify the swarm of insects buzzing around your head. Just run and swat wildly. 

3

I am more afraid of people than I am of bears because bears aren’t fucking crazy.

4

The National Parks are museums displaying what the Earth looked like before humans made her ugly.

5

The great thing about solo trekking is no one can see how awful you look or terrible you smell after a week without a shower.

6

Don’t buy a cook system you aren’t willing to throw on a fire when you run out of fuel and really need a hot bowl of shin ramen.

7

When you’re in a lot of pain, you’ll start holding your breath for no reason and making lots of weird groaning noises like that constipated dude in the airport bathroom.

8

These steps won’t help you hatch an egg.

9

Burping is like farting with your face but not funny.

10

Sometimes I pretend my tent is a spaceship and when I wake up in the morning I’m on a different planet.

0 Comments